Saturday, January 22, 2011

When you are younger you always say what you want to be when you grow up, who your dream guy is, how you would never do certain things, and the list goes on. When I was younger I said I wanted to be a teacher, doctor, nurse, mom, and I'm sure I said many other things. I said I wanted to marry the return missionary, have four kids, get married in the temple, have the perfect little family, and the perfect life.

I'm twenty one, and so far... I still don't know what I want. I know I'm still young and have many years to decide these things, though my brother Kameron would say otherwise. He told me the other day I was getting old and that I need to get married. Though I'm very indecisive I've learned many life lessons at my young age that, yes some I regret, and others I will cherish and remember them forever.

I moved to St. George, Utah when I was 15. It was really hard for me. At first people weren't accepting and I had a hard time fitting in. Though I was able to find some good friends, I still hated high school. I couldn't wait to get out. When I graduated from high school, I didn't know what I wanted. I felt lost. Though I have amazing parents who would do anything for me, I felt directionless. I moved into an apartment out of my parents house, though still in the same town. I made decisions that I wish I hadn't. I continued trying to find myself and the life I wanted. I didn't find it. 

Finally in 2010, I realized that maybe my parents had been right all along. I moved back home in May, and that was the best decision of my life. I made new friends and started doing what I had been taught growing up. I found what I had been searching for. I finally felt content and found the stability I needed.

Though, 2010 was one of the hardest years of my life so far, I would never regret it. I formed a better relationship with my family and met Chantel Olsen and Kristin Andersen. Between my family and these two girls, I was able to turn my life around, and finally be proud of some of the decision I've made. Whenever I was having a tough time, and needed an ice cream night, or a venting drive, Chantel and Kristin were always there. Whenever I was down, my mom knew right away, and gave me the pep talk I needed. I had people around me, who cared about my well being and made what I was trying to do so much easier.

There are some people though, who have made me turning my life around, the hardest thing I've ever done. I've been shunned and gossiped about, and by people who think they can do no wrong. I hope that they know, that attitude like this is what runs people away from church, and draws them to other things. The gossiping, the shunning, and the likes, makes you no better than the people you are doing this to. I hope that one day the people that do this, fall flat on their face, and realize what it feels like to have that done to.

Even though it has been hard, 2010 brought me some of the best memories ever. California, lots of hiking, g-forcing, Grafton, making friendship bracelets, endless numbers of movie nights with both my friends and my family, pranks, U.S. Marshals, work, slumber parties, attempts at camping, General Conference, Jason Derulo concert, dances, passing out, shopping trips, ruined suprise birthday parties, making burnt Christmas cookies, parents willing to stick up for you through whatever, staying up all night, and the list goes on.

I have some of the best friends and family I could ever ask for. Thank you to my parents who have helped me through countless things and have put of with my craziness. Thank you to my siblings who are so sweet, are always happy and are such great examples to me. Thank you Chantel for always being by my side and doing stupid stuff with me and always being there to talk to me. Thank you Kristin for the boy bashing talks we had and the times we had fun even when we were doing nothing. And thanks to Brit, Shay, Steve, Bryce, Alyssa, Eli, Zack, and whoever else I missed who have been there for me.

Thanks 2010, though I regret things, I'm so thankful for finding all the great relationships I have, and realizing what is truly important in life. I can't wait to see what 2011 brings me.

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